In this dream, I'm walking down a dark road late at night with four other people, two of whom are friends from my waking life. I'm not sure where we'd come from or where we were headed, but as I say it was very dark. So much so, that we could not see more than a few inches in front of us in either direction, almost as though a pale spotlight was on us.
I was in the front of the group, and at regular intervals, I would collapse as if one of my ankles had just given way. When that happened, I sat cross legged on the ground for a moment or so as one of my friends joked and told me to get up and stop slowing everyone else down. The same thing happened to another party member also.
The location suddenly changed without walking and the five of us were walking in a very dark passageway. As before, we could not see very far in front of us. I remember feeling creeped out at this point, as though there was something in this hallway that I didn't want to confront, but being with friends made it that little bit more bearable. Also, there was creepy music coming from somewhere in the dark. The music was a male, choral baritone; the lyrics were also pretty strange, but I've unfortunately forgotten them.
Anyway, as before I was ahead of the group and I looked into the distance and just about saw the figure of a young woman (late teens to early twenties) on crutches disappearing into the blackness of the passage. I then returned to my friends, who I found sitting on the ground behind me. All of a sudden, each of the four friends literally faded and vanished, leaving just me on my own. I then started to feel very scared, not wanting to face what was in this corridor alone, and it was at that point that I woke up, feeling slightly relieved.
To give a little background, the two friends were people I saw recently (i.e. over the weekend) one of whom had just returned having been away for 3 years. I can't think of anything specific that was happening in my life the day before, but I do have a lot on my plate at the moment; I have a hectic social life and work is very busy. I've also recently had new responsibilities at work due to a downsizing in our office and some of that work is a little daunting. I've also not been getting all that much sleep of late so between my busy social engagements, new work and lack of sleep, my mind has been in flux and sometimes, it feels like things are getting on top of me. Could this have something to do with it?
Tuesday, 9 September 2008
Saturday, 24 May 2008
Old dream: Pyramid train
This one dates back to October 2007.
I'm in a dark tunnel speaking to my mum. My sister is also there. My mum walks off, and my sister and I are left. All of a sudden, a train rolls into the tunnel, and the music starts to go all Silent Hill. I also notice that the front of the train resembles Pyramid Head's head. Just then, I notice the train starts to slowly transform INTO Pyramid Head, so I turn and tell my sister we need to get out of here quick. However, she's faffing around and not listening to me, so I grab her hand and we both run out of the tunnel. At some point, I think she slips or I lose her, but I keep on running anyway. I manage to escape the tunnel before Pyramid Head transforms and then I wake up.
I'm in a dark tunnel speaking to my mum. My sister is also there. My mum walks off, and my sister and I are left. All of a sudden, a train rolls into the tunnel, and the music starts to go all Silent Hill. I also notice that the front of the train resembles Pyramid Head's head. Just then, I notice the train starts to slowly transform INTO Pyramid Head, so I turn and tell my sister we need to get out of here quick. However, she's faffing around and not listening to me, so I grab her hand and we both run out of the tunnel. At some point, I think she slips or I lose her, but I keep on running anyway. I manage to escape the tunnel before Pyramid Head transforms and then I wake up.
Old dream: Living Dead Woman
This one dates back to October 2007.
I was a new student starting college. I went to my class, and noticed that the tutor was no taller than 4 feet (though she wasn't a midget, as everything was in proportion). She briefed the class (it goes a bit blurry here) and later everyone's dismissed for break. I return from break to find the class empty save the tutor, whose sitting with her feet up on her desk casually surfing the net on her laptop. I ask her what's going on, to which she shrugs indifferently. She tells me she couldn't care less about teaching the class anymore. I criticise her for being unprofessional, and she criticises me for being nosey. I continue to pry as to her sudden change of attitude, and she bursts into tears and tells me she doesn't want everyone to know that she is in fact dead. She describes herself as a "living dead woman" and tells me she frequently has to go for check-ups because her body parts keep rotting and falling off. All of a sudden, the smell of putrefaction fills the room and I hear people vomiting. I also start to vomit, and the dream ends.
Associations notwithstanding, in hindsight, I am positive this dream is about work. At the time, I was feeling undervalued and I suspect this dream relates to that somehow.
I was a new student starting college. I went to my class, and noticed that the tutor was no taller than 4 feet (though she wasn't a midget, as everything was in proportion). She briefed the class (it goes a bit blurry here) and later everyone's dismissed for break. I return from break to find the class empty save the tutor, whose sitting with her feet up on her desk casually surfing the net on her laptop. I ask her what's going on, to which she shrugs indifferently. She tells me she couldn't care less about teaching the class anymore. I criticise her for being unprofessional, and she criticises me for being nosey. I continue to pry as to her sudden change of attitude, and she bursts into tears and tells me she doesn't want everyone to know that she is in fact dead. She describes herself as a "living dead woman" and tells me she frequently has to go for check-ups because her body parts keep rotting and falling off. All of a sudden, the smell of putrefaction fills the room and I hear people vomiting. I also start to vomit, and the dream ends.
Associations notwithstanding, in hindsight, I am positive this dream is about work. At the time, I was feeling undervalued and I suspect this dream relates to that somehow.
Monday, 5 May 2008
Severed
This is a dream I had two days ago.
In this dream, I went from being an observer to an active participant. I started off observing a man and a woman get out of a car and walk into a large mansion-like house. It was a dark night and the car, which was black was parked on a gravel driveway outside the property. The man and the woman were a couple.
Just after they left, I heard the voice of a child, a little girl say something like "Please no, mister!", which immediately got my attention. In my state as the observer, I started searching around for the source of this voice, suspecting the child may be in some kind of trouble. However, as I looked around, I didn't see a child, but I did see a man dressed in black in his mid to late thirties smoking a cigarette in what looked like a child's play area in a park. The park was quite small, and contained a little climbing frame, but I don't remember any specific details about it beyond that.
As I saw this man, I wondered if he too had heard the child, and why he wasn't doing anything about it if he had (he was just casually smoking and paying no heed to anything else). At that point, I became a participant and found myself standing at the top of a small hill that directly overlooked this park. I was about to speak to the unknown man, when I noticed what looked like a ghostly apparition of a young girl appear in the play area. I knew straight away that this was the same girl I heard earlier, only she was actually about 16 or 17 (or so her appearance suggested), which was a direct contradiction to the voice I heard.
I only saw this girl from behind; she appeared to be wearing a pink overcoat, and this was all I could really see of her. She then floated straight through a locked gate to the right of where the man was smoking and continued down a little pathway that lead out of the park. From my position on the hill, I called out to this girl to get her attention, but she didn't respond. Just then, the man said to me "It's no use, she can't respond, she's been severed". I had no idea what he meant, and his words have stuck with me ever since.
I then noticed the girl was heading up the hill and along a path that lead directly to where I was standing. I looked and saw her ghostly form floating towards me, again her pink overcoat was flowing and I could make out a faint black glow that outlined her bodily form. Even though it was me who originally called her, I suddenly became frightened when I thought about what was actually happening (i.e. a ghost was approaching me), and decided to flee in the other direction. So I ran away from this ghost girl and came to another grass hill, which I started to climb. The girl then appeared directly in front of me and at that point, I woke up. Incidentally, I couldn't make out the girl's features at all. All I saw was a hazy black mist.
Associations
The couple : They only played a minor role in this dream, but the couple actually reminded me of a couple at my workplace, only their relationship is on the rocks, as I learned recently. For some reason, they came to mind when I saw the couple in the dream.
The black car : I can think of no particular associations with the black car in this dream.
Child's play area : As mentioned above, it was small and had been locked up (presumably because it was the evening). I had a fight with another kid in the child's play area of a park when I was about 10 years old. I avoided the park for a little while after the incident. My only lingering thought associated with children's play areas is that, whilst fun, they're not very safe and potentially, anything could happen. The park in this dream was in a cage-like enclosure.
The girl : As before, she was actually a teenage girl, but what I heard was the voice of a little child in distress.
The colour pink : ...the pink coat is interesting, simply because it is a colour that has frequented a few of my dreams in the past. Like many I imagine, pink is a colour I associate with women or femininity. Incidentally, the girl's coat stood out all the more as everything else in this dream was dark.
UPDATE (31-1-09): This dream literally haunted me, but its meaning has become clearer to me in hindsight. When I had this dream, I was noticing a rather troubled young lady at my work (I work in a college and she is a student). She caught my eye and I was genuinely concerned for her wellbeing as she looked as though she was having trouble at home... only I had no idea how to approach it particularly as it looked as though no-one else even noticed her (she was always alone too). It used to bug me a lot, because her demeanour was so sad (like a drowned kitten). I read an excellent dream dictionary which purported that mansions symbolise the effect external situations have on us as individuals (ergo, this girl's effect on me by means of my concern for her). The rest of the dream imagery appears to compound this notion too, what with her almost "ghostly", seemingly invisible presence around the place. Perhaps the dream was showing me that if I had gotten involved and tried to help, it may have been more than I was psychologically capable of being able to deal with (hence me running away from the ghost girl).
Interestingly, the couple at the beginning of the dream (whom I thought to be work colleagues who were seeing each other at the time) seem almost linked to this in a prescient manner. The female of the couple was a woman who worked in my office (she's now left). We became friends outside of work, which is how I learned that she had a drinking problem. This is relevant becasue before I even knew about this, I sensed she was also troubled in some way - just like the aforementioned girl. However, it is only now, in retrospect that I have put the two together.
Incidentally, the girl left the college this summer past (could this be what the dream meant by telling me "she" had been "severed"?) and I haven't seen her since. I still wonder about her from time to time as she genuinely looked like she was going through hell. Wherever she is, I can only hope she's OK.
In this dream, I went from being an observer to an active participant. I started off observing a man and a woman get out of a car and walk into a large mansion-like house. It was a dark night and the car, which was black was parked on a gravel driveway outside the property. The man and the woman were a couple.
Just after they left, I heard the voice of a child, a little girl say something like "Please no, mister!", which immediately got my attention. In my state as the observer, I started searching around for the source of this voice, suspecting the child may be in some kind of trouble. However, as I looked around, I didn't see a child, but I did see a man dressed in black in his mid to late thirties smoking a cigarette in what looked like a child's play area in a park. The park was quite small, and contained a little climbing frame, but I don't remember any specific details about it beyond that.
As I saw this man, I wondered if he too had heard the child, and why he wasn't doing anything about it if he had (he was just casually smoking and paying no heed to anything else). At that point, I became a participant and found myself standing at the top of a small hill that directly overlooked this park. I was about to speak to the unknown man, when I noticed what looked like a ghostly apparition of a young girl appear in the play area. I knew straight away that this was the same girl I heard earlier, only she was actually about 16 or 17 (or so her appearance suggested), which was a direct contradiction to the voice I heard.
I only saw this girl from behind; she appeared to be wearing a pink overcoat, and this was all I could really see of her. She then floated straight through a locked gate to the right of where the man was smoking and continued down a little pathway that lead out of the park. From my position on the hill, I called out to this girl to get her attention, but she didn't respond. Just then, the man said to me "It's no use, she can't respond, she's been severed". I had no idea what he meant, and his words have stuck with me ever since.
I then noticed the girl was heading up the hill and along a path that lead directly to where I was standing. I looked and saw her ghostly form floating towards me, again her pink overcoat was flowing and I could make out a faint black glow that outlined her bodily form. Even though it was me who originally called her, I suddenly became frightened when I thought about what was actually happening (i.e. a ghost was approaching me), and decided to flee in the other direction. So I ran away from this ghost girl and came to another grass hill, which I started to climb. The girl then appeared directly in front of me and at that point, I woke up. Incidentally, I couldn't make out the girl's features at all. All I saw was a hazy black mist.
Associations
The couple : They only played a minor role in this dream, but the couple actually reminded me of a couple at my workplace, only their relationship is on the rocks, as I learned recently. For some reason, they came to mind when I saw the couple in the dream.
The black car : I can think of no particular associations with the black car in this dream.
Child's play area : As mentioned above, it was small and had been locked up (presumably because it was the evening). I had a fight with another kid in the child's play area of a park when I was about 10 years old. I avoided the park for a little while after the incident. My only lingering thought associated with children's play areas is that, whilst fun, they're not very safe and potentially, anything could happen. The park in this dream was in a cage-like enclosure.
The girl : As before, she was actually a teenage girl, but what I heard was the voice of a little child in distress.
The colour pink : ...the pink coat is interesting, simply because it is a colour that has frequented a few of my dreams in the past. Like many I imagine, pink is a colour I associate with women or femininity. Incidentally, the girl's coat stood out all the more as everything else in this dream was dark.
UPDATE (31-1-09): This dream literally haunted me, but its meaning has become clearer to me in hindsight. When I had this dream, I was noticing a rather troubled young lady at my work (I work in a college and she is a student). She caught my eye and I was genuinely concerned for her wellbeing as she looked as though she was having trouble at home... only I had no idea how to approach it particularly as it looked as though no-one else even noticed her (she was always alone too). It used to bug me a lot, because her demeanour was so sad (like a drowned kitten). I read an excellent dream dictionary which purported that mansions symbolise the effect external situations have on us as individuals (ergo, this girl's effect on me by means of my concern for her). The rest of the dream imagery appears to compound this notion too, what with her almost "ghostly", seemingly invisible presence around the place. Perhaps the dream was showing me that if I had gotten involved and tried to help, it may have been more than I was psychologically capable of being able to deal with (hence me running away from the ghost girl).
Interestingly, the couple at the beginning of the dream (whom I thought to be work colleagues who were seeing each other at the time) seem almost linked to this in a prescient manner. The female of the couple was a woman who worked in my office (she's now left). We became friends outside of work, which is how I learned that she had a drinking problem. This is relevant becasue before I even knew about this, I sensed she was also troubled in some way - just like the aforementioned girl. However, it is only now, in retrospect that I have put the two together.
Incidentally, the girl left the college this summer past (could this be what the dream meant by telling me "she" had been "severed"?) and I haven't seen her since. I still wonder about her from time to time as she genuinely looked like she was going through hell. Wherever she is, I can only hope she's OK.
Thursday, 31 January 2008
Scars and the Christmas Room
January 31st 2008
This is the dream with which I will open this blog.
It began with me going to visit somebody I remember from a previous job from about 10 years ago. He was a manager, a small, quiet and very introverted man who most people believed to be a bit strange. Personally, I didn't have many dealings with him and neither did I like him particularly (see the associations section). I was with my mother and my sister. I can't recall anything else about his place of residence in this dream beyond the fact that it all took place in what I assume was his living room. The room itself was dimply lit and coloured in dark red and green. Oddly enough, there were decorations and a sparsely decorated Christmas tree in this room even though it wasn't actually Christmas.
The first thing I saw when I walked in was an unopened Christmas present in a large, rectangular red box which sat on a sofa chair. We all sat down, and the man explained that even though it wasn't Christmas, he kept his room decorated like this because it made him feel "safe" - it was, he explained his refuge from the outside world. We all sat around chatting, but I can't remember what we talked about (I don't even know why we were visiting him). I also fired up a Nintendo Wii that was in the room, but switched it off when I realised no-one wanted to play Tennis with me on the console.
In the second part of the dream, I have an accident with a claw hammer and as a result end up with two deep gashes above my right eye. The first is a small but deep cut, and the second a longer slice that begins from above my outer right eye and ends at the centre spot between both eyes. My mother is also here at this point and is just as shocked as I am by the cuts. My first thought is that I would be permanently disfigured by this and that the scars would make me unattractive to the opposite sex, but I somehow console myself with the though that some women consider scars a sign of rugged manliness.
Then, I am in a hospital getting the scars looked at. The doctor there manages to remove them completely, and I confirm this by looking at my now scar-free face in the mirror. The dream then changes location again and I'm in an industrial estate at night. I'm running around, but I'm not sure where I'm going. On my travels, I encounter people who keep laughing at me, and it is then that I realise that I still have the scars! Everyone I comes across laughs at my scars and some people even want to attack me because of them. I keep running, trying to avoid confronting people who want to hurt me because of my scars whilst, at the same time being baffled by the fact that even though the scars aren't visible the mirror, people can still somehow see them. I then wake up.
Associations
Christmas : Despite my cynicism because of its commercial trappings, Christmas has positive associations for me. It is time I spend with my family (the aforementioned mother and sister). Christmas is something I associate with warmth, togetherness and the "safeness" also felt by the man in the room.
The ex-manager : As before, he was a small, introverted man whom most considered a bit weird. Myself included. He was in his late 40s, unmarried and lived with his parents. I actually used to think he was quite a pathetic, pitiable character and used to wonder what life circumstances would result in someone being the way he was. I felt sorry for him, but despised his apparent weakness of character (or so I saw it).
The unopened present : Surprise. A mystery/unknown quantity.
The Wii : I have one of these. They're a lot of fun. I enjoy introducing it to new people. Most take to it, but some don't - just like the dream.
The scars : The bigger scar resembled one I have on my left leg from an accident I had on holiday when I was about 7 or 8, where I cut my leg open on a tin. This was also a very deep scar.
Disfigurement angst/hospital : I was actually in hospital last summer for about a week due to a rare kidney illness which eventually cleared up. Prior to my admission, my body swelled up, with some of the swelling showing on my face. Both my mother and myself were concerned about the facial swelling, and I wondered if it would be permanent (it wasn't).
These are the main elements and associations. It's still early days, so I don't have any interpretive thoughts yet.
Update (5-5-08)
After a lot of thought and introspection, I come to what I think is an explanation of the first part of this dream. At the time, I was going through a very introverted phase where I was not interacting socially very much at all for reasons I won't go into here. I'm normally quite a social person, but I was going through a dark period. I'd come home from work and stay home and even when I did go out at the weekends, it was not for very long. At the same time, I was substituting actual relationships with the opposite sex with fantasy, having effectively "given up" on relationships in general. What I feel this dream was doing was warning me about my attitude at the time. It was showing me that my willful introversion was isolating me, keeping me in my own little world that I thought was "safe", but was ultimately harmful.
The unopened present was the dream' way of symbolically reminding me that by shutting myself off, I'd be left with no-one with whom to share what I have of myself (if you get my meaning); a gift, but with no-one to give it to. I believe there were also sexual connotations too, due to both the colour and shape of the box. The shabby Christmas decorations represented the ultimate decay that would result in following this path.
However, the most obvious representation of the unhealthiness of this forced solitude was the ex-manager. As I described, he was a quiet, introverted man that was also very lonely. Characters from dreams are always representations parts of yourself, no matter who they resemble, so by using this guy, the dream was trying to tell me something about myself at the time. It was a warning of what I myself might become if I didn't do something about it.
The part with me trying to get the other people in the room to play on the Wii can be explained thus. Obviously, "I" represented my ego in this dream, which, whilst not wanting the state of solitude suggested above, had chosen to allow it to happen. The unwillingness of the others to participate in a "game" or to do something "fun" was the dream's way of showing me that the state of being I was in at the time was slowly draining my libido.
This is the dream with which I will open this blog.
It began with me going to visit somebody I remember from a previous job from about 10 years ago. He was a manager, a small, quiet and very introverted man who most people believed to be a bit strange. Personally, I didn't have many dealings with him and neither did I like him particularly (see the associations section). I was with my mother and my sister. I can't recall anything else about his place of residence in this dream beyond the fact that it all took place in what I assume was his living room. The room itself was dimply lit and coloured in dark red and green. Oddly enough, there were decorations and a sparsely decorated Christmas tree in this room even though it wasn't actually Christmas.
The first thing I saw when I walked in was an unopened Christmas present in a large, rectangular red box which sat on a sofa chair. We all sat down, and the man explained that even though it wasn't Christmas, he kept his room decorated like this because it made him feel "safe" - it was, he explained his refuge from the outside world. We all sat around chatting, but I can't remember what we talked about (I don't even know why we were visiting him). I also fired up a Nintendo Wii that was in the room, but switched it off when I realised no-one wanted to play Tennis with me on the console.
In the second part of the dream, I have an accident with a claw hammer and as a result end up with two deep gashes above my right eye. The first is a small but deep cut, and the second a longer slice that begins from above my outer right eye and ends at the centre spot between both eyes. My mother is also here at this point and is just as shocked as I am by the cuts. My first thought is that I would be permanently disfigured by this and that the scars would make me unattractive to the opposite sex, but I somehow console myself with the though that some women consider scars a sign of rugged manliness.
Then, I am in a hospital getting the scars looked at. The doctor there manages to remove them completely, and I confirm this by looking at my now scar-free face in the mirror. The dream then changes location again and I'm in an industrial estate at night. I'm running around, but I'm not sure where I'm going. On my travels, I encounter people who keep laughing at me, and it is then that I realise that I still have the scars! Everyone I comes across laughs at my scars and some people even want to attack me because of them. I keep running, trying to avoid confronting people who want to hurt me because of my scars whilst, at the same time being baffled by the fact that even though the scars aren't visible the mirror, people can still somehow see them. I then wake up.
Associations
Christmas : Despite my cynicism because of its commercial trappings, Christmas has positive associations for me. It is time I spend with my family (the aforementioned mother and sister). Christmas is something I associate with warmth, togetherness and the "safeness" also felt by the man in the room.
The ex-manager : As before, he was a small, introverted man whom most considered a bit weird. Myself included. He was in his late 40s, unmarried and lived with his parents. I actually used to think he was quite a pathetic, pitiable character and used to wonder what life circumstances would result in someone being the way he was. I felt sorry for him, but despised his apparent weakness of character (or so I saw it).
The unopened present : Surprise. A mystery/unknown quantity.
The Wii : I have one of these. They're a lot of fun. I enjoy introducing it to new people. Most take to it, but some don't - just like the dream.
The scars : The bigger scar resembled one I have on my left leg from an accident I had on holiday when I was about 7 or 8, where I cut my leg open on a tin. This was also a very deep scar.
Disfigurement angst/hospital : I was actually in hospital last summer for about a week due to a rare kidney illness which eventually cleared up. Prior to my admission, my body swelled up, with some of the swelling showing on my face. Both my mother and myself were concerned about the facial swelling, and I wondered if it would be permanent (it wasn't).
These are the main elements and associations. It's still early days, so I don't have any interpretive thoughts yet.
Update (5-5-08)
After a lot of thought and introspection, I come to what I think is an explanation of the first part of this dream. At the time, I was going through a very introverted phase where I was not interacting socially very much at all for reasons I won't go into here. I'm normally quite a social person, but I was going through a dark period. I'd come home from work and stay home and even when I did go out at the weekends, it was not for very long. At the same time, I was substituting actual relationships with the opposite sex with fantasy, having effectively "given up" on relationships in general. What I feel this dream was doing was warning me about my attitude at the time. It was showing me that my willful introversion was isolating me, keeping me in my own little world that I thought was "safe", but was ultimately harmful.
The unopened present was the dream' way of symbolically reminding me that by shutting myself off, I'd be left with no-one with whom to share what I have of myself (if you get my meaning); a gift, but with no-one to give it to. I believe there were also sexual connotations too, due to both the colour and shape of the box. The shabby Christmas decorations represented the ultimate decay that would result in following this path.
However, the most obvious representation of the unhealthiness of this forced solitude was the ex-manager. As I described, he was a quiet, introverted man that was also very lonely. Characters from dreams are always representations parts of yourself, no matter who they resemble, so by using this guy, the dream was trying to tell me something about myself at the time. It was a warning of what I myself might become if I didn't do something about it.
The part with me trying to get the other people in the room to play on the Wii can be explained thus. Obviously, "I" represented my ego in this dream, which, whilst not wanting the state of solitude suggested above, had chosen to allow it to happen. The unwillingness of the others to participate in a "game" or to do something "fun" was the dream's way of showing me that the state of being I was in at the time was slowly draining my libido.
Introduction
What you will find here, is a series of my own dreams. Unless you know me personally or care about such things most of this will hold little interest for you, but if you are curious about my subconscious musings or dreams in general, then please read on.
I have come to realise this is a very vast and incredibly deep area, and I'm no psychoanalyst, so my musings are purely speculative. If you have anything you wish to contribute in relation to anything I write here, then feel free to comment. I'll be interested in your thoughts.
I also post at this forum, in which people post and interpret others' dreams. I also recommend this dream dictionary here, which I have found to be very useful.
I have come to realise this is a very vast and incredibly deep area, and I'm no psychoanalyst, so my musings are purely speculative. If you have anything you wish to contribute in relation to anything I write here, then feel free to comment. I'll be interested in your thoughts.
I also post at this forum, in which people post and interpret others' dreams. I also recommend this dream dictionary here, which I have found to be very useful.
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