This dream started off at some kind of party that was taking place in a small building with two floors. The building itself was like a church or scout meeting hall. The interior was completely white and there were three exits; a front and back door and another which lead out into an outer courtyard area with tables. The party spilled out into this courtyard area as well, and people were milling around there and the rest of te building.
I was wandering amongst the dense crowds of people, but I was not looking for anyone in particular. I was also not really enjoying the party all that much. At some point, I walked out into the courtyard in the hopes that something would spark my enthusiasm for the party, only to notice that it was overcast outside and that it started raining. This was the last straw for me, and I thought 'That's it, I'm not enjoying this party, I want to go home' and I went back inside to go to leave.
As I did, my surroundings completely changed. I was now back upstairs in this building only this time, all the party goers had literally vanished and I was all alone. I walked downstairs anxious to know what had just happened but could not find anybody. I started to panic and sensed that not only was something very amiss, but something bad was about to happen. I made my way to the front door (which was blue) and turned the handle, only to find it had been locked from the outside. I looked across the way from where I was stood and could see the back door along a corridor. I then noticed that door opened and a lanky man stepped in. As soon as he saw me, he put his hands to his face in a mock, affected panic and just stood there, staring at me. At this instance I thought 'I should've gone for that door instead'. Just then, I turned around and noticed three other men standing there, one of whom was pointing a gun at me. (The one with the gun was actually somebody I know in real life, too!)
Anyway, the gunman stood there and said nothing. I then realised I had an umbrella in my hand and went to hit him with it (in the hopes that I could disarm him), but found I couldn't move. I was not scared of being shot, but at the same time, I didn't want to be. At this point, I started shouting at the gunman, saying "If you're going to shoot, then shoot! Come on then, you c**t! Do it!".
Then I woke up.
The night before I had this dream I'd had an argument with my girlfriend. We've not been together long (a few months) but unfortunately, she's had to leave town for 2 months to go home to her family (she's a student). While we both feel very strongly about each other, the separation has been difficult for both of us. We speak every day and night on the phone or via email or MSN and I try to busy myself with work and other things during the day to pass the time. She, unfortunately is stuck at home with no money and little to do. In such an environment, her mind plays all kinds of tricks and her insecurities cause her to doubt my loyalty and create issues that don't really exist. A few days ago, she text me in the middle of the night saying she was scared about how close we were getting and was thinking of bailing out. When I called her, she admitted that she did not mean this and only said it to get a reaction out of me because she was scared I might do the same thing to her. Again, this is an imaginary fear caused only by the temporary distance. Either way, we ended up arguing, with me shouting at her, accusing her of being immature and playing mind games and her crying and apologising, saying she really didn't want to split up. We sorted it out, but all of the next day, I was left thinking that, despite not wanting to, that maybe us splitting (even it was temporary) perhaps would not be such a bad thing, for my peace of mind if nothing else (don't get me wrong, I genuinely care about her a lot, but I feel as though she is toying with my emotions with her insecure behaviour and it's causing me real strain). Two weeks previous, she also said a similar thing to me on the phone about having cold feet and I told her that maybe we should split while she decides what she wants, but she got upset and said she did not want to do that.
I mention all of this because it has been on my mind a lot the last few days; since we've been apart not a week has passed without some stupid drama, and I know it's only because of the forced separation because, prior to it all, everything between us was absolutely fine, and drama notwithstanding, I couldn't ask for a sweeter, more caring, sincere and of course more beautiful girlfriend. Either way, I feel this issue is related to this dream, but I'm just not entirely sure how it all fits together. As the dream alludes, I feel at times like she is trying to emotionally hold me at gunpoint and sometimes, just sometimes, it feels as though I am trying to call her bluff, daring her to pull the trigger.
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