Recurring dream: The presence

For the last year or so, I've had a theme that has recurred in a number of my dreams.

In these dreams, I might be in someone's house, in a building (say a hotel or office) and there is an area of that building where I just don't go.  At some point in the dream, I pass the area but don't enter it, feeling an intense sense of dread.  In this no-go area, I perceive some kind of "presence", as though it were haunted.

In this dream, I was staying at a house on an unknown street in an unknown town.  I had popped out and was walking along the street and it was sunny.  For some reason, there was some confusion about where I needed to go, so I headed back to where I came from, but ended up in what seemed to be a block of flats and started wandering around.  I passed a staircase that leads up to the second floor and felt that presence I mentioned earlier, and just continued walking away.

However, this time, something told me not to run from the presence but to confront it, so I went back to the staircase and steeled myself.  I summoned the courage and climbed the stairs, determined to face whatever this thing was.  In spite of my brave intentions, as I made my ascent, an invisible force lifted me off the ground and sent me crashing back down the stairs again, and I immediately woke up.

And I know what this dream signifies.

From reading some of my earlier entries, you may be aware that I have been in a relationship with a woman for the last 10 years.  We were engaged, broke up for a while and got back together.  Things appeared to be on track for a number of years but have recently veered off for reasons I won't go into here.  Anyway, for some time, there has been something of an elephant in the room of our relationship borne of an unfulfilled, and wholly unrealistic desire.  I, therefore, dread when the topic is approached and have previously tried to deflect it or calmly steer the discussion away though it hasn't been easy, and it has been slowly earing away at our relationship.  The day before this dream, I decided to confront this issue head-on and say what was really on my mind.  As expected, this has pretty much dissolved the relationship, but it's been a long time coming and needed to happen.  The presence symbolised this growing tension and me walking up those stairs to confront it mirrored my actions in the real world.  What awaits me on the other side of this remains to be seen, but things can only get better from here on in.