Double murder

Straight and to the point, the title says it all. This is probably one of the grimmest and most messed up dreams I've had. Even more so than this dream.

One of the weirdest things about it (other than the content, which I will get to shortly) is the way it kept shifting perspectives. At some points I was watching it happen, as though it was a TV program, at other times, I was an active participant, and at other moments, it was as though I was reading some kind of script which described the motives, thoughts and actions of its characters. I'll try to explain this as best as I can throughout.

The dream started with me watching a man being killed. He walked past a white car and the man in the car rolled down the window, grabbed the man who was walking past and put him in some kind of headlock where he was caught by his neck and couldn't move. The man in the car then whispered the word "Dead!" three times into the ear of the man he'd grabbed in a voice that was genuinely chilling. Eventually, the man he was holding collapsed and died. At this point, I went from being an observer to a participant, only I appeared to be following some kind of script. I became aware of the fact that the man who was killed was connected to me in some way as was his killer, and that he would be after me next.

I then remember reading some sort of script that told me that the character I was playing needed to lay low for a while, which I did by returning to the place where I lived in this dream, which was actually my mother's house in real life. I got to the house, locked the front door and closed all the curtains. I also make a point of crouching below the windows so nobody could see me outside (in case the killer chanced by and saw me). However upon locking up, I suddenly knew that I was not alone in the house. I was then suddenly in what would be my mother's room in this house, I stepped out into the corridor and saw a woman walking away from me. She had also been sent after me by the killer. I sneaked up behind her with a coathanger, grabbed her from behind and pushed her onto the ground in what used to be my old bedroom. Once on the floor, I started interrogating her.

I asked her why she was here, who she was and what she wanted, but she would not answer my questions even with the tip of a coathanger pressed against her neck (it was all I had). This is where it gets really fucked up. I then tore off this woman's underclothes and threatened to rape her. Thing is, I had no intention of actually following through with the act, I just wanted to scare her into talking, but that didn't work either as she just threatened to tell the police(!). At this point I felt worried and ashamed: worried at the possible outcome of her telling the police (even though she was colluding with a murderer herself), and ashamed at what I had become. Anyway, I now realised I had nothing to lose and murdered the woman. There was a suitcase nearby which I emptied with the intent of forcing her body into it. The last thing I remember doing was cutting up a magazine, which was in some way connected to me killing this woman. I woke up around this point.

POSSIBLE MEANING: This is where it gets interesting. I consulted a dream dictionary regarding murder in dreams. The symbols appear to be spot on. The day before, my girlfriend and I had an argument. I'm going to see her this weekend (she lives out of town) and she wanted me to go to church with her the day I would be leaving. I explained that I couldn't because it would make me late for my train home, which she knew would be the case. However, she got upset with me anyway and we ended up fighting, which we hadn't done for months. There used to be a time though when we argued all the time, every week in fact. It used to stress me out because it seemed as though she like the drama. To my mind, it didn't bode well that two people in a long distance relationship should be arguing all the time (especially over what was mostly petty, trifling nonsense), but she seemed to like it. She'd either pick fights or goad me into one by saying things that would provoke or upset me. Anyway, one of the last big fights we had (around my birthday), I almost broke up with her which I think caused her to stop all this drama, hence us not having fought again up until now.

After this fight, we exchanged a few angry texts and I said that I wasn't going to come up to see her anymore. I didn't really mean it though, I was just very angry that she'd started what I saw to be another stupid argument (I thought we'd got past that) and just wanted to get at her. It turns out the real reason she got upset was because I'd resisted going to church with her in the past and this just brought that back (typical woman in that she didn't just say so at the time but just flew off the handle instead). Anyway, this whole incident got me very riled because it put a dampener on what was going to be a good weekend. Two days before going up to see her for her birthday, she starts an argument, just like she did two days before my birthday. It bought it all back to me.

Now, I think the part in the dream where I threatened to rape the woman just to scare her into talking symbolised me threatening not to go up to see my girlfriend on her birthday. In both instances, I had no intention of following through with the act, it was just a bluffing tactic which failed to work. The dream dictionary symbols regarding anger were represented by the murders in this dream. It states that murder represents the resistance to something; in this case, my girlfriend's insistence in trying to coerce me into religion (if you've been following my other dreams, you should already know why that's not going to work). It also represents the potential end of a relationship. I write this dream at 6AM in the morning, hours before I'm to get on a train to go up and see her for what may be the last time. We have reached an impasse. She has become a hardcore fundamentalist, I lost my faith some time ago. We are headed in two opposite directions. I think I have to put an end to this relationship, and this dream appears to be alluding to just that.

It's a shame because, silly fights notwithstanding, we had something good, but hey, religion divides.